The Double Sins
by squirrelchaser
Summary: Elladan notices a change in his brother and attempts to rouse the truth out of him. Slash. Twincest.
1. Default Chapter

Title: The Double Sin

Author: Squirrelchaser (squirrelchaser12@yahoo.com)

Warnings: Not beta'd, slash/incest (Elladan/Elrohir), product of an mpreg, and an end that I don't want to give away

Important: Tolkien states that the Eldar (i.e.: elves like Glorfindel and Elrond) are able to tell when two elves are bonded (and sex=marriage) – I did not just make that. He also states that elf children can walk, talk, dance and sing before they are one year old (Morgoth's Ring) 

AN: takes place after the War of the Ring, right before Elrond leaves for Valinor; the time line of story is slightly skewed to make events of the story make sense (i.e.: messages can't travel that fast but you need to know what's happening in Imladris)

Disclaimer: Tolkien owns these characters and I am not Tolkien. If the poor guy were alive and knew half of what we did to his characters and story lines, he'd probably kill himself.

The Double Sin

It was the quiet, damp sort of afternoon with rain pattering softly in the background that always made Elrond reflect on the past, which could make for a joyful or sad passing of time.

_One week, _he thought, _before Celebrían and I are to see each other again for the first time in…well, a very long time._ The elf lord closed his eyes, swallowing hard. _There is much I need to tell her…how will she react when she learns that I will bring none of our children to her?_

Slowly Elrond continued his steps down a hallway, not knowing exactly where he was going until he stopped at the corridor which ended in a vast, circular balcony which looked out toward the Misty Mountains. There were two doors on either side of the balcony, and Elrond chose the one to his right.

The bedchamber of Elrohir had remained untouched since its inhabitant had gone.

~*~

 "Elrohir has changed," Elladan complained to Glorfindel as they walked through the gardens one afternoon. "He does not eat much and is distant and silent to me!"

The golden haired elf knit his eyebrows, his mood remaining light. "I beg to differ, or perhaps we are thinking of different Elrohirs."

At this attempt at humor Elladan scowled.

"Can you not tell?" He sings more often and when he has not barricaded himself in his room he wanders around with a ridiculous melancholy expression on his face that can only mean one thing: Elrohir is love," Glorfindel said dramatically to an unconvinced and unimpressed Elladan.

"He would have told me," Elladan snapped peevishly, irritated at the very notion of his brother falling in love without his knowledge. "I would have known."

"Elrohir will come out of this or tell you before too long, I think." Glorfindel nodded and smiled down at him, but Elladan scowled again in return.

"I will rouse him out of this, or prove you wrong Glorfindel!" the dark haired elf declared, and turned to make his way to his brother's room where Elrohir had kept himself in seclusion for the past day and a half.

"Take care," Glorfindel called after him. Standing alone in the shade of a tree the golden haired elf frowned. Something did not feel right but he could not put his finger on it and Elladan's determination to change the situation made him certain that it would only lead to trouble.

Moments later, reaching his destination, Elladan tried the entrance to his brother's room but found it locked. Impatiently Elladan rattled the door handle. "Elrohir!" He yelled but there was no reply. "I know you are within. Open the door!"

For a long moment only birdsong through the open windows could be heard but at length the bolt turned and Elrohir opened the door. He licked his lips, not quite meeting his brother's identical grey eyes and said quietly, "What is it?"

"I…wanted to see you," he finished lamely realizing he had no real purpose for coming.

Still not meeting his gaze Elrohir gave a short scoff, one eyebrow raised in an expression much like his Adar as he turned and walked further into his chamber with Elladan following. Elrohir sat down at the window ledge, leaning against the frame and throwing one long leg over the side and staring pensively out at the valley.

Elladan was at a loss. To everyone else Elrohir was quiet, serious; nearly shy and Elladan took great care to watch for his brother in public situations knowing how much he loathed them. But only with his twin and his father was Elrohir verbal and expressive, and until now Elladan had been in tune with nearly every thought and emotion that had glanced through his mind through the bond they had shared since birth. But as of late his insight had grown cloudy and he did not know what to do; Elladan felt as if half his soul was slowly slipping away and he was powerless to do anything about it. "It is so beautiful, today," he began slowly, unsure of where he was going. "I thought, maybe, we could go riding and…hunt, perhaps?"

Finally Elrohir turned his head and looked into his brother's eyes for the first time in a guarded gaze.

_He has never been this silent to me! _Elladan thought wretchedly. "Please?" he added.

The please seemed to do the trick; Elrohir swung his leg back inside, turned, and stood, giving possibly the smallest of smiles. "As you will, my brother,"

Elladan smiled in satisfaction. That was a little more like the Elrohir he knew and loved.

The strides of their horses were matched as they flew across the narrow paths from the valley to the wide open plains beyond Imladris. Elladan watched his brother riding ahead in satisfaction; he could feel the happiness and relief emanating from his twin as it always did when they were on horseback.

The wideness of nature instead of the confines of the house seemed to bring a healing change to Elrohir's heart and soul, troubles seeming to become forgotten as the day waned on.

The rest of the afternoon was spent tracking a promising looking buck, but Elladan had just notched an arrow to his bow and taken aim when there was a hand on his arm. He lowered his aim and turned to see Elrohir looking at him with a strange expression, one of fear and apprehension with a trace of dread. "Yes," Elladan said quickly. "He is too beautiful to slay. Besides," he smiled. "Should we bring down our query now that would bring an all too quick end to our excursion!" _And an end to this reprieve from your withdraw._

"It is so peaceful here," Elrohir sighed, inhaling the scent of the greenery surrounding him and Elladan could feel the pulse of the bond between them for the first time in a great while.

_He does not want to go back,_ Elladan sensed. "Let us spend the night out here," he suggested and Elrohir's interest peaked. "We can bring down some small game,"

"That buck is too much for the two of us anyway," Elrohir said as the graceful creature meandered away through the trees, blissfully unaware of the peril he had just escaped. "And I have some lembas in my pack. We are a little too late in our decision making to set snares in time for dinner, so we shall test our archery skill on these swift rabbits, shall we?"

Smiling back at his twin Elladan set the pace across the field and the hunt for the creatures was on. He could feel his twin's eyes on him as he drew back his bow but was too preoccupied with the prey in front of him to pay it much heed.

Night had fallen as they made camp, their small fire sending glowing sparks up into the dark star lit sky. 

Lapping the last bits of juice from his fingers Elladan cast the remains of his dinner aside, and cocked his head to Elrohir, narrowing his eyes thoughtfully at the far away look in his twin's distracted gaze. _At least he is eating again. "What is it, my brother?"_

Elrohir blinked, eyes coming back into focus. "What is what?"

Rising and pacing a few steps forward, Elladan settled down right next to the long form spread leisurely on the ground. "You, Elrohir," he said gently but poking his brother teasingly. "Today is the first time in many days you have been yourself. Something has changed in you; you know I can feel it." Elladan leaned forward and set his chin on his brother's knee, bringing his face inches away from Elrohir's.

"Yes, I know you can feel it," Elrohir said softly. _Why must you look at me so earnestly? _

"Will you not tell me what is troubling you? Glorfindel thinks it is because you are in love!" Elladan opened his mouth to scoff at the idea but stopped.

Pain filled Elrohir's grey eyes, and Elladan felt a stab of hurt flash through his own heart. "What is it, what is it that makes you ache so?" Elladan immediately became serious at his brother's expression and grabbed the other's long hands in his own, alarm raising his voice a notch. "Oh, you must tell me, and we can make it go away; we must, we always have," he said desperately.

Bowing his head to their clasped hands Elrohir said in a strangled voice. "I cannot tell you. And no Elladan, we have not always been able to make it go away."

Elladan reached forward in an attempt to clasp his brother to him but Elrohir shook him off and pushed him away, standing and striding out of the circle of light.

"Please," Elrohir trembled. "Please do not touch me."

Hurt, Elladan said frantically, trying to salvage some of the relief that the day had brought, "I will not touch you or question you further tonight, if that is your wish."

_I am sorry to injure you, but I must, _Elrohir closed his eyes and raised his face to the sky.

"Elrohir, come back into the light where I can see you. You are frightening me,"

As he was bid Elrohir returned.

Spreading his cloak out on the ground next to him, Elladan patted it lightly and said, "Sleep. There is no need to take watch; we are still well within Adar's protection."

"What!!??" Elladan yelped, jumping out of his cushioned chair. "Adar, surely you jest!"

Elrond raised his eye brows in confusion. "Surely Elrohir spoke to you ab– "

"NO!!!" Elladan howled. "Not a word!"

Now Elrond was even more confused. Yes, he had know that Elrohir had not been himself lately but it was completely out of character for either twin to make a small decision – let alone a large one such as this – without the other knowing.

A decision quickly firming in his mind Elladan crossed the room and wrenched the door to his father's study open. "Adar, consider all of Elrohir's plans to leave for the Grey Havens on hold for now, until you hear other wise." With these parting words Elladan stepped through the door and it slammed behind him. "Elrohir!" he nearly shouted as he reached his brother's room, throwing the (thankfully) unlocked door wide and finding his brother stretched out on his bed. Crossing the room Elladan jumped onto the bed, threw one leg over Elrohir and sat on him hard, pinning his shoulders down with both hands. "I am not going to move from this spot until you tell me why exactly in all of Arda you were making plans to sail for Valinor."

Elrohir blinked. "To visit Amar?"

For the first time that he could remember Elladan felt anger at his twin rising in him. Giving his shoulders a small shake he snapped, "No jokes!"

Elrohir could feel the mounting fury in his twin and he sighed in defeat. "Close the door."

"You promise me you will take me into your confidence?" Elladan said fiercely, not relenting.

"I will tell you whatever you want to know." He was released, and he sat up against the headboard, watching Elladan close and lock the door before returning to his spot on the bed. For the first time, Elrohir felt himself at a loss for words for his brother, and he stared down at his hands clasped on his bent knee, unsure of how and where to begin.

AN: Want more? Need beta!


	2. two

"What is it that has hurt you so bad you sail for the Undying Lands, without a word to me?"

The upset in Elladan's voice clenched Elrohir's heart so painfully he let out a sob.

Elladan, heart breaking at the noise of distress he had not heard from anyone in a long time impulsively moved forward and took his brother in his arms, relieved when Elrohir did not fight him. "Tell me all," he begged when the twin remained silent as he rocked him in his arms. "Tell me so that I may help you bear this burden,"

At length Elrohir drew a shuddering sigh. _And so the purging begins. _"I love someone."

Inwardly Elladan gave a moan. Glorfindel had been right all along; he would have to make sure and not tell him of that fact. Stroking his brother's hair Elladan guessed. "They do not return your love? Tell me who it is, and I will make them love you," he demanded.

Elrohir laughed ruefully. "It is not so simple as that. They love me, but not as a lover." He pulled back slightly to look into Elladan's eyes, letting his guard down and their bond reopened, Elrohir allowing all of his unspoken words of desire pour out.

Such longing poured into his soul, so much craving and want flooded into him that Elladan gasped, unsure of where Elrohir's yearning ended and his own began. Elladan had never though of his brother or of males as such until now but their souls were so akin that the moment the possibility hit him his heart was lost, and he did not have any intention of retrieving it.

Feeling comprehension dawn in his brother Elrohir said softly, "And that is why I must go."

"Oh. I will go with you!"

"No." Shaking his head Elrohir said soothingly, "That would defeat the purpose, dear brother. I go from you to escape this."

Elladan started to weep, clinging to his twin. "Our souls are as one; to part ways would slay us!"

"So emotional, always so emotional my dear brother." Cradling his dark head to his chest Elrohir murmured, "Better to die with your soul but without your body, Elladan, than to have both and face banishment and to bring shame to Adar."

"Elrohir, I do not care! Why must you be so reasonable? I want to bond to you and it is selfish but; I do not care!"

The look on his twins face was so earnest, so pleading and the bond of brotherhood between them was so intense that Elrohir broke and began to weep also. "Do not ask that of me, of us; this double sin of male-male incest! When we are slain by our kin we could not even pass to Mandos!" Elrohir struggled to get up, to run away from his brother who clung to him so insistent and needy but Elladan pinned him down, grabbing his face in his hands and kissing him in a clumsy first attempt.

"Then our Fëa would be without a home but we would be together, wandering but together, for all time," he whispered breathlessly, pulling back only slightly so his breath tickled his twin's face, his hands starting to snake up beneath the hem of his tunic. 

Beneath him Elrohir let out a sob of defeat, of want, of mourning for the loss of life they would never have and those that were left behind. "If we bond all would be able to tell by looking at us; what is written in our hearts will be written in our eyes…Adar will be shamed…how will we face them? How can we do this?"

"If we do not and we are separated, we will die; if we bond, we shall be slain…" Elladan feathered his ignorant lips over his brother's once again. "Let us take this one night that we have for our own; you are shaking, and I can feel the throb of your soul, my brother. I know it is not from lack of want that you refuse."

Elrohir groaned at the thought of what they could have. "Must you always rush into things?"

"It has always been my way." With great effort Elladan released Elrohir from his grasp and backed slowly away to the door. "But if you are abject then let us do this. Tomorrow after evening meal and when all have gone to bed I will come to you, and if you still desire to sail for Valinor, then you will leave once and for all. If not, we will bond?" Elladan watched Elrohir close his eyes, swallowing hard and he could feel him fighting to control the pulse of physical desire raging between the two of them.

"And if we bond, what then?"

Elladan did not reply but Elrohir could feel his answer.

"Yes," Elrohir said softly. "Yes, you are right, but we must not do it in Adar's realm."

When Elrohir awoke the next morning he had made his decision, and had determined himself to make himself scarce around Elladan for the day. Skipping morning meal and ignoring the silvery chime that preceded it he headed out to the stable, in hopes that he could spend the day astride Pelro and in welcome solitude.

The warm, sunny stable was nearly vacant as most of the horses had chosen to wander freely through the sun bathed valley at their leisure. Licking his lips Elrohir whistled, leaning on the stall door that opened into the stable aisle, waiting for his black mare to come through the opposite end that opened into the outside.

"Oh," 

Elrohir turned to see Glorfindel coming into the stable and in turn whistled for Asfaloth.

The blond Elda turned and smiled. "I am surprised that you are not with Elladan this morning. He has just left with Celro; perhaps you will join him?"

Pursing his lips Elrohir turned to stroke Pelro's nose as she came to the stall and nudged her elf expectantly. "Actually…I…thought I might spend my day indoors." He could not look Glorfindel in the eye; all of a sudden it seemed the Elda's keen blue eyes would be able to see his innermost thoughts…nearly as bad as Galadriel.

Shifting his weight to one leg Glorfindel surveyed the dark haired elf across from him. "Something is not right, Elrohir. Your brother has noticed it as well as your Adar and I." When Elrohir made no answer Glorfindel said gently, "I know you are not accustomed to opening your thoughts and heart, but –"

"You stand correct," Elrohir said sharply, turning to go. "I am not going to open my heart and thoughts on this matter."

Glorfindel said nothing, sadness tugging at his heart as he threw one leg over Asfaloth and they rode out into the lushness of the valley. "Go on," he encouraged Asfaloth, "This will be your ride today," and at his elf's prompting the white horse nickered and took off into the valley.

In the distance, a dark figure on a horse raised an arm in greeting, and Asfaloth took of toward it, eventually drawing abreast of Celro and the horses touched noses. "Elladan," Glorfindel greeted. "I just saw your brother leave the stable,"

Elladan scowled. "Elrohir is out riding? I think then I will go back inside," he started to nudge Celro with his heels.

"No, Elrohir decided to not go out of a ride," the Elda said slowly, wondering at this change in the twins.

"Well, then," Elladan turned Celro around. "Let us stay out, and race over to the nearest waterfall?"

Night had fallen and Elrohir was perched in his window ledge, staring out at the sky with his decision firmly in place. "Come in," he called when there was a soft knock at the door.

At first Elrond said nothing as he stood beside his son in the starlight, remembering the bitter sweetness of his wife's passing to Valinor so many years ago. "Elladan said to nullify your plans to go West, until I heard other wise from you," he started, smiling to himself as he remembered Elladan's vehemence. "I take it you have spoken with each other since yesterday morning?"

"We have," Elrohir did not turn to look at his father. "I will leave Imladris late tomorrow morning."

Elrond lowered his head slightly. "You will not tell me why you chose to leave?"

"You will find out tomorrow, Adar, perhaps."

"As you wish then. Goodnight, Elrohir." Elrond turned to leave and felt his son stand and embrace him from behind.

"Goodnight and goodbye, Adar. I will miss you."

Turning the elf lord returned Elrohir's embrace. "I will miss you as well."

Elrohir sat patiently in his window and listened as the sounds of the house grew quieter, the singing of lore gradually turning to the gentle purr of a single lullaby, and Elladan slipped into his room as silently as a shadow. The latch caught with a soft click and Elladan leaned against the wooden paneling, waiting, reaching out to his brother with his soul.

"Lock the door, Elladan," Elrohir said without turning from the window.

Hope mixed with dread flared in Elladan's heart as he did as he was bid, turning the small latch, locking the entrance against any possible intrusion. Crossing the room to the window he sat beside Elrohir, who gazed pensively out at the stars.

"Look, there is Eärendil, shining bright as always." Elrohir paused and licked his lips. "Do you think he can see what we are doing?"

"If he does, I hope he does not tell Adar."

Elrohir turned to look at his brother, taking one hand. "I will bond with you tonight, Elladan, not sailing for Valinor, and am ready and willing to accept what must follow our union." Reaching behind him he drew the curtain so that the bright starlight glowed faintly behind the thick panel. "And so we begin our end."

Elladan had moved to sit on the bed and was reaching for the tiny clasps that ran along the hidden seam at his shoulder but Elrohir, moving off his perch at the window, raised his hand. "No, brother, do not rush into this," he reached the bed. "It would be my pleasure."

"Elladan," Glorfindel knocked gently on the door. "Elladan," when there was still no answer and the Elda opened the door slowly, to be greeted by an empty bed chamber awash in the pale glow of the dawn. _Where is Elladan? "Did Elladan and Elrohir both leave for the Havens? They did not bid farewell to me," With a half mock expression of insult Glorfindel poked his head into Elrond's sitting room, where the elf lord was pouring over a large book with Erestor._

With a frown Elrond looked up. "Elrohir said that he would be leaving this morning, but I did not know that Elladan had chosen to go. But I suppose it is not a great surprise, as they are inseparable. I will write the Havens to inform them of both my sons impending arrivals."

The one night that they could have together, breaking all acknowledgement of kinship as it was overridden as they joined as lovers, ended as the glow of Eärendil was replaced by the more insistent light of the sun as dawn crept over Imladris.

"My brother," Elrohir stopped his horse at the edge of the dell. "Are you ready to say farewell?" Solemnly the twins gazed down at the valley, sparkeling in the sunlight as a haven in the wilderness, a place where they were now not safe. _Good bye, Adar; we do this because we love you. "Where shall we go, to finish?"_

"The Misty Mountains. We will not be found there, even when all is done."

With a sigh Elrohir agreed. "Yes. Have you a plot to get past the border guards? Other than," he said quickly, glancing side long at his twin, "Riding really fast?"

"You do not think that they will simply let us pass?"

"No, for they will see in our eyes exactly what we fear they will see and our journey to the Mountains will be unnecessary."

For a short while they rode in pensive silence.

_For all the fear of discovery and hiding we face for the next days to come, until we reach our destiny, this will be the few last days that I treasure. I love and am loved freely, and that is all one needs, _Elladan reflected and as Elrohir looked over to him and smiled, he knew his brother could hear his thoughts and felt the very same.

Dawn of the next day found the elves nearing the border, and Elladan said slowly, "I have a thought as to get past the guards. We will go separately and in different places, for surely if we went together we would be given away, but if we went independently it would only be known that we were bound."

"Then we shall separate and meet at the mouth of the Pass of the Misty Mountains?"

"Yes, that is what should be best." Elladan squeezed his twin's arm briefly. "Farewell,"

"But not for long,"

_What do you mean, Cirdan, that my sons have not arrived to the Grey Havens? _Elrond glared at the parchment unrolled before him on his desk, but it did not change the words it bore. _Perhaps they are just late…perhaps they ran into trouble on the journey there._

"Greetings, son of Elrond," a young Imladris border guard raised one hand in salute as the black mare strode past, arching her neck and tossing her head for she was in high spirits. "You have business through the Misty Mountains again? Where is your brother? I have rarely seen you apart." He smiled conversationally as his father, who was on horseback, approached him from behind.

Elladan narrowed his eyes and sighed. "Business, indeed," he replied without smiling. _I do not like the way the elder looks at me for he can see what the other does not, Elladan thought as he met the eyes of the older, wiser elf, and looked back into the merry, naive eyes of the first. "It is nothing of grave concern though,"_

The young elf nodded a little bemused as the dark haired twin continued on under the afternoon sun. It was not like Elladan to be so reserved; he usually enjoyed a brief stop and conversation while it was Elrohir who preferred to continue briskly on his way, but this time Elladan did not stop or dismount.

"I had not heard word that the son or sons of Elrond had married to any, but it would not be surprising as they are more than of age." When his son looked at him in surprise, he smiled at his innocence and continued, "Could you not tell from his eyes? Hmm. At any rate, I came to inform you that I am riding back to Imladris as it is time for the weekly report."

"Oh, Lindir has a message from Mirkwood that must be taken as well. He was hoping that you could…?"

"Thank you, I shall stop and see Lindir before I leave." The older elf nudged his horse and continued on his way. He had not traveled far when there was the approaching sound of hoof beats, light on the springy turf. Surprised, the elf turned. "Elladan! No, Elrohir," he called, as the other twin emerged through the trees.

Elrohir looked to see where the voice hailed from, and nodded briefly in greeting before clicking his tongue to his black mare and continuing on at a slightly increased pace.

It was not unlike Elrohir to be brief in his exchange with the border guards for it was known that he opened to few. What surprised the elf was the new knowledge that both the sons of Elrond had been bound in marriage, and he had heard no news of either's bonding. He shrugged to himself. Still, even under the tranquility of the late afternoon, something nagged at the back of his mind that he could just not place.

Behind him Elrohir's mind was racing. Once out of sight the dark haired elf leaned forward and whispered to his mare and she sprang forward with new urgency.

_He knows I am bound, _Elrohir said to himself, anxiety growing in his chest. _Does he know it is Elladan?_

Worries, anxiety, apprehension tumbled over each other in his mind creating a hard knot of fear that turned into irritation as he reached his destination to wait.

And wait.

_Has something happened? No, that cannot be for I would have felt it…What is it then? What could be keeping Elladan?_ Dismounting Elrohir sank down into the grass, fidgeting restlessly. Picking a daisy from its tender stem he pulled one petal off after another, rolling the velvety white between his thumb and forefinger and flicking it away into the grass. _No, nothing is wrong for Pelro is calm. She could sense distress in her twin as I can in mine, and we are both at peace._

The sun was sinking in the West when finally a figure appeared over the crest of the hill. Elladan cantered forward to where his twin stood, grinning. "You worry too much, my brother."

"I worry when you are late," Elrohir reprimanded gently.

"It was necessary to take the long path to keep encounters to a minimum." The dark haired elf put a tender hand on his brother's shoulder, leaning forward earnestly as careless, silky locks that blew around his eyes. "I trust you had no difficulty?"

For brief moment of hesitation, Elrohir thought of the elderly border guard who now rode back to Imadris. "No," he reached up and smoothed away the locks from is brother's face. "No difficulty. Let us take a brief rest before we continue on our journey."


End file.
